Stress and resilience
Most of us have firsthand experience with stress in our life than we care to remember. Stress is nothing but what you may experience on the day of appraisal. It can be when you have fights with your spouse or friend. It is taking a test when you are not sure that you have prepared well enough or studied the right material. It is missing your train on the day full of important appointments. Psychologists define stress as Any Negative emotional experience or response to events that are threatening. Stress is always accompanied by changes in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It can affect you in short term as well as long term.
Stressor is any event like loud noise, crowding, a bad relationship, an upcoming presentation, a round of job interview etc.
Response to stressors may include:
Ø Cognitive responses; i.e. intrusive thoughts. ("I can't do anything." "This will always happen." "I'm just worthless.")
Ø Emotional responses (fear, anger, sadness, terror)
Ø Physical reactions (rapid heartbeat, muscular pain, stomach ache, panic attack)
Ø Behavioral responses (drinking, not eating, isolating, purging, self-injuring)
Coping is capacity to response and recover from stressful events and situations or the efforts to control, to reduce or learn to tolerate the threats that leads to stress….
…..You can choose your style of coping……..
Ø Action-based coping
Action-based coping involves actually dealing with a problem that is causing stress. Examples can include getting a second job in the face of financial difficulties, or studying to prepare for exams. Examples of action-based coping include planning, suppression of competing activities, attacking the problems etc
Ø Emotion-based coping
Emotion-based coping skills reduce the symptoms of stress without addressing the source of the stress. It entails the conscious regulation of emotions in which people seek to change the way they feel or perceive the problem. Sleeping or discussing the stress with a friend is all emotion-based coping strategies.
Harmful coping methods
Some coping methods are more like habits than skills, and can be harmful. Overused, they may actually worsen one's condition. Alcohol, cocaine and other drugs may provide temporary escape from one's problems, but, with excess use, ultimately result in greater problems….
Positive coping
There are a number of approaches that we can take to cope in a positive way with problems, including:
· Immediate problem-solving: Seeking to fix the problem that is the immediate cause of our difficulty.
· Root-cause solving: Seeking to fix the underlying cause such that the problem will never recur.
· Benefit-finding: Looking for the good things amongst the bad.
· Spiritual growth: Finding ways of turning the problem into a way to grow 'spiritually' or emotionally.
Ø A student fails and exam. They view it as an opportunity to deepen their learning and study hard for their re-sit.
Positive coping generally means framing the issue in a positive light that enables us to see an adversity as an opportunity.
This is a position that needs a certain amount of maturity in being able to accept one's own failings without excessive self-blame.
What is Resilience……
….. It involves maintaining flexibility and balance in your life as you deal with stressful circumstances and traumatic events.
· Letting yourself experience strong emotions, and also realizing when you may need to avoid experiencing them at times in order to continue functioning
· Stepping forward to take action, and also stepping back to rest
· Spending time with others to gain support and encouragement, and also nurturing you
· Relying on others, and also relying on yourself
5 guaranteed shifts to gain a feeling of empowerment
1. Feelings
when you find yourself feeling angry, upset, sad, fearful…
Ask yourself; “How can I choose ease and confidence instead?”
when you find yourself feeling angry, upset, sad, fearful…
Ask yourself; “How can I choose ease and confidence instead?”
2. Stress
when you feel your buttons being pushed constantly…
Ask yourself; “How do I keep making choices that keep this pattern going?”
when you feel your buttons being pushed constantly…
Ask yourself; “How do I keep making choices that keep this pattern going?”
3. Lack of energy
when you feel flat, no energy, no drive…
Ask yourself; “What feelings and emotions have I ignored and not let myself feel?”
when you feel flat, no energy, no drive…
Ask yourself; “What feelings and emotions have I ignored and not let myself feel?”
4. Having bad results
when you experience a stream of bad luck, poor and negative results… Ask yourself; “Do I have an unconscious intention for things to turn out like this?
when you experience a stream of bad luck, poor and negative results… Ask yourself; “Do I have an unconscious intention for things to turn out like this?
5. Seeking solitude because others irritate or upset you
when you avoid certain people, being distant, or aloof…
Ask yourself; “What agreements have I broken?” “What unspoken communications do I have?”
when you avoid certain people, being distant, or aloof…
Ask yourself; “What agreements have I broken?” “What unspoken communications do I have?”
Tips for Resilience Building
Ø Learn How to say ‘NO;
Ø Change the environment causing stress
Ø Know your limits and strengths
Ø Always make a to do list
Ø Try the ways to alter the stressful situations
Ø Express your feelings instead of bottling them up
Ø Be willing to compromise
Ø Be more assertive
Ø Manage your time better
Ø Adapt to the stressor if you can’t change
Ø Look at the big picture
Ø Make a note of your progress by writing it down
Ø Accept the things which you can’t change
Ø Identify factors within control and beyond control
Ø Identify your goals and strategies to reach it
Remember friends...Every lock has a key to open it similarly every situation has a solution…Only thing is that we need to be calmer and tolerant towards it…One will definitely get it…
Don’t hesitate to contact professional psychologist or counselor if you are overwhelmed with stress…
Regards
Swapnil Pange
Manaswa……….
